stacyingber.blogspot.com
Tea and Sympathy: Mar 4, 2012
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Sunday, March 4, 2012. Becoming a man . . . mazel tov. What does that even mean? Is it the physical appearance when a child morphs into an adult? Is it by thoughts, deeds, actions, words? Is it the first time when the peach-fuzz turns to whiskers and are ripe for removal? It is the confluence of all of these and then some. However, with the loss of the soft fuzzy hair came an understanding that I have been longing for. He does see me as his only and his one. Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,.
stacyingber.blogspot.com
Tea and Sympathy: The High School Years Begin
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Tuesday, August 14, 2012. The High School Years Begin. Today my son would be entering high school with his friends from many years. However, he will make this transition in a few weeks in his school out of state. It is at these rituals where I become a bit of a weepy mess. Our normal is not one that feels familiar or right. I want to be able to watch parents and children together, but find that I have zero tolerance for the sight of them and god forbid the sounds of a crying toddler. During this time, I ...
stacyingber.blogspot.com
Tea and Sympathy: My Ghost Sings Haunted Heart
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Monday, November 12, 2012. My Ghost Sings Haunted Heart. Ghost, you torment me night and day, day and night. Your dedication to me is overwhelming. Really, you could take a break and it would not hurt. Everywhere I go, I see you . . . even in my sleep;. In windows, on streets, through school-yard fences;. I see your face in small children in their mother's arms -a time I did not have;. From the toddler boy in a stroller or playing with their toy car;. To the all-knowing tweens and teens around the city;.
stacyingber.blogspot.com
Tea and Sympathy: Oct 8, 2011
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Saturday, October 8, 2011. Altered States: California and Utah. My son is a very social child, making friends wherever he goes and easily adapting to new environments. It is the sustaining these environments that are a challenge. I hear that all is going well, friends are being made, football is being played, and there has even been a visit to the nurse. All very normal behaviors. That is great! Coming back and being in my home the last eight days, I feel lost, unmoored, as if I have lost a limb. I m...
stacyingber.blogspot.com
Tea and Sympathy: 10 cups of espresso with a packet of adrenaline
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Monday, October 15, 2012. 10 cups of espresso with a packet of adrenaline. I am sitting here in the light of a laptop awaiting the return of the boy to his school. This first home visit was one that we were so excited about and filled with much promise. Coming in at gate 13 (omen or coincidence that is his birthday? Brought the light of my life into view. As I try to stay awake for what will be the ripping of the child from my arms, I will turn around, walk upstairs, and take a sleeping pill. This, I...
stacyingber.blogspot.com
Tea and Sympathy: Apr 29, 2012
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Sunday, April 29, 2012. Hold On For One More Day. Writing this blog about stress is really stressing me out. I wanted to find a way to share how relaxed and easy my visit was with the man-child, but one look in his eyes and I could see a life of worry. Worry about doing the right thing, worry about being flexible, worry about worry. It was so evident. And then . . . For an interesting read on anxiety, check out this. Piece in the NY Times Magazine by Daniel Smith. Labels: tea and sympathy.
stacyingber.blogspot.com
Tea and Sympathy: Jun 8, 2012
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Friday, June 8, 2012. Am I Mother Enough - Hell Yes! Mother's Day 2012 also coincided with my boy's 14th birthday. The last time the two events landed on the same day was when he turned 3 years old and our first Mother's Day together. What came from the mess was open communication and shared feelings that have been bottled up for the few years. Crossing the San Andreas Faultline was as deep and dangerous as imagined. However, our emergency kit was not too wells stocked. I let the past few weeks sit with ...
stacyingber.blogspot.com
Tea and Sympathy: Nov 12, 2012
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Monday, November 12, 2012. My Ghost Sings Haunted Heart. Ghost, you torment me night and day, day and night. Your dedication to me is overwhelming. Really, you could take a break and it would not hurt. Everywhere I go, I see you . . . even in my sleep;. In windows, on streets, through school-yard fences;. I see your face in small children in their mother's arms -a time I did not have;. From the toddler boy in a stroller or playing with their toy car;. To the all-knowing tweens and teens around the city;.
stacyingber.blogspot.com
Tea and Sympathy: Nov 20, 2011
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Sunday, November 20, 2011. Finish the sentence, "Never Underestimate the Power of . . .". Driving while doing this has prompted others who share the road with me both worry and concern. As my eyes are filled with tears, and the redness around them look like I have advanced liver disease, I shoot them a big smile with two thumbs up and they drive away slightly confused between the tears running down my face and universal indicator of all is good. A mixed message if ever there was one. I know each of us wi...