zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com
oh my greeness...
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Thursday, September 29, 2005. Haha, guess what? I'm still looping that song. Well, that's not the point anyway, lol. Was quite shocked today. Before I say why, I went to huimin's house this afternoon. Watched advert's child, then play playstation until my thumb got such a big blister, oh my god, still hurts now la. It's really kind of big, abt 1.5 cm in diameter. Had pizzas then went home. Haha, so always get depressed together with him one, lol. Anyway, he mentioned something that struck me. He said...
zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com
oh my greeness...
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Friday, May 20, 2005. Rather busy lately, with elections and tutorials, as usual. Thankfully Jun Wen asked me to join his group in Atlantis after two of his members pull out. It is a day of fun and laughter, i really had lots of fun. That's was the only time lately that I had so much fun, haha. When they lost, i just felt that immerse sense of disappointment and sadness dwelling inside me. It's just like the feeling when Chinese drama got third for the competition few years back. Wednesday, May 11, 2005.
zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com
oh my greeness...
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Tuesday, April 26, 2005. This week is the clean and green week, haiz. keep hearing mrs Tham complaining about how lousy it is this year. What can i do? I felt so helpless la, as if i'm doing everything myself. Really got very fed up and stressed up this week lor. 可能是这两种感情的结合导致我这几天的心情实在很遭. 上学时听了赵微的歌, 表情动作语言, 顿时感到很感动, 有一种恋爱的感觉, 结果一听就是十多遍, 哈哈, 够颠吧. 曲 郭偉聰 詞 郭偉聰 編 劉文仁. 还蛮有意思的, 很象这个BLOG的写照, 哈哈. 我看我还是RELAX先吧, 开始有一点不清醒了, 哈哈. 现在只希望GREEN WEEK 快点过, 让我可以休息一下, 哈哈. Friday, April 22, 2005. Clean and Green Week. Life st...
zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com
oh my greeness...
http://zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_archive.html
Monday, October 31, 2005. 也许, 心死的时候, 就是感情麻木的时候. 对身边的事与物都变的很不在乎, 不会去留意, 更不会去想. 人生单调无色, 枯燥乏味. 紫薇曾说过, "恨一个人很辛苦, 只会让生活枯燥的象是口枯井" 至少恨也是一种感觉和心情, 现在连恨的感觉也没有了, 算什么? 也许, 心死的人, 是孤独的人. 他们不会想去说话, 不会想去接触其他人. 他们只想自己一个, 自己一个人的感觉比较舒服自然. 不用去担心, 不用去强迫自己, 当自己就好, 自然就好, 不用去理会他人的眼光或白眼. 更不用去想. 但在这寂寞孤独又冷冰冰的内心, 还是渴望有人会出现来安慰的, 不是吗? 也许, 就是因为从来没有人真正的去安慰和伸出援手过, 所以他们才会渐渐对人失去了信心和接触的理由. 下一个人, 也会是一样的, 不是吗? 不明白自己是一个很恐怖的事, 不了解最亲的人更是可怕. 不明白他在想什么, 更不知道他做的一切是为了什么. 让自己变得没有安全感, 每天只活在惊心胆跳之中. 一切的一切, 只为了一个人而活, 做的一切也只为了他. 那是爱, 还是责任? Liyan's side is...
zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com
oh my greeness...
http://zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com/2006_01_01_archive.html
Tuesday, January 31, 2006. Yeah, was back from field camp already. I went back on tuesday night and guessed wat, it rained la! That night after I booked in, the rover sent me back to the campsite. They were sleeping already, in the open and I joined in. After some time it actually started to rain! Anyway so, expected fever continues but no way I'm going to att C again man. The last night we slept in the open again and it was freaking cold! 也许真的是晚上的空气在作怪吧, 把心中的空虚和无奈都清清楚楚的让我感觉到. 也许我真的会羡慕那些不曾被掏空过的人....或者, 真...
zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com
oh my greeness...
http://zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com/2005_11_01_archive.html
Wednesday, November 30, 2005. Mum is always so stubborn, her chest is hurting again, for quite some time liao yet she still refuses to go and see a doctor. She even asked me juz now whether she should go to see a doctor tomorrow or not. I was like. go la! Haha, maybe their DNA carry a high proportion of left-hander genes? Sigh Going NS soon, at first quite looking forward to it, now as it approaches I started to fear. A totally different world is waiting for me. To climb to the top or not? Tonight seems ...
zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com
oh my greeness...
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Sunday, November 14, 2004. Just came back from Budak Pandai performance, they are great, totally awesome. But on the way home, i think i scare my classmates. Kok Chong, Hui Min, Boon Shan, Zi Chao and Yuan Wei especially. They haven't seen me like this before i guess. I had read about it somewhere. Split personalities, another result from depression. A way to seek relieve from the problem we are facing and different people display different characteristics to seek shelter from his/her problem....I beg...
zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com
oh my greeness...
http://zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com/2004_10_01_archive.html
Thursday, October 28, 2004. 人生是如此脆弱和无奈, 象是一根燃烧的蜡烛, 不费吹灰之力就能将火熄灭, 我们也无可奈何. 自杀的念头又再次浮现在脑海. 生命象是走到了尽头, 前路茫茫. 我还是相信命运有所安排, 但它似乎忘了我, 它的计划忘了有我的参与, 我被遗忘了. 命运象是在玩弄我. 本来以为忘了无法修读 S papers 的失望和失落, 但现在又突然让我想起来, 有何用意? 这意味我无法拿到奖学金读大学, 也意味我将来的处境会遭透了. 家里没钱又怎么读大学呢? 不知道是他故意的还是上天的安排, 那七百元莫名被存进他的户口. 他装出不知情的表情, 一字不提. 看来他又要拿那笔钱出堵了. 他, 还是去抄股票了. 我的那七百元是拿不回了, 以前那五千元也以化为灰土. 妈的钱也是如此. 我储蓄多年的积蓄没了, 妈也被他骗地一无所有, 他还是如此好堵, 怎么会有钱让我上大学呢? 只能去借钱或半工半读了. 我不怨人, 这是命运的安排. 我只怨自己无能, 愚蠢, 没有用. 我失败了, 彻底的失败了. Monday, October 25, 2004. You might not alw...
zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com
oh my greeness...
http://zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com/2005_02_01_archive.html
Saturday, February 05, 2005. I'm feeling so tired and stressed out lately. Bio Med, bio S, chem S. so shitty. Not really adapting well yet, AQ very low, shall try to adapt better. My angel mentioned about the seniors commenting the boys in my class are divided into two main groups, the sisterly one and the da nan ren one. Well of course i fall in the former. So i started wondering. I'm not a sissy, i think i'm not at least. So maybe their sisterly is defined as metrosexual again? Haha, lame me agian....
zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com
oh my greeness...
http://zebra-tells-you.blogspot.com/2004_09_01_archive.html
Thursday, September 02, 2004. 今天觉得用中文来写会比较舒服. 我还以为我做得到.但是我开始怕了. 我害怕寂寞, 我怕自己一个人, 我怕沉默, 我怕孤独, 我怕世界到了尽头也没有人在我的左右. 我怕, 我以为我不怕. 原想自己疏远身边的人, 但他们就象是早知道我的打算, 先下手为强了. 我突然感觉到他们疏远我了,没有和我说话, 没有人理会我. 为什么? 应该是我先做的呀. 我没做错事, 没得罪人, 他们为什么会这样呢? 人好矛盾明明想疏远他们习惯孤独的日子, 但当他们先采取行动时, 我发现我很怕, 很怕.我又突然不想这样了. 寂寞对我来说是一种恐惧. 我怕寂寞,这是事实. 我想我在想改也改不了. 也许是自己的心理在作祟吧. 我很混乱. 我不知道为什么会有这种感觉. 很纳闷. 为什么. 是心理作祟吗? 我好累 好累好累. 快疯了. And memories in my life. Special people will always be in my heart,. Today and forever and ever. Chris tan ze jia.
